I really don't have anything to celebrate, really. The longer I live, the more I see that I didn't accomplish, the more I see people and friends come and go...no one ever really permanately stays, some just leave at a slower pace than the majority. There's not much to live for, other than my family and even then that's just four individuals and in a lot of ways their lives would be easier or better without me in it. It's sad how easily people can just toss me out of their life with no problem. And it's sad how long it takes me to realize that they just don't care - usually after a few weeks or months of talking to their voice mailboxes making up my own excuses why they hadn't returned any of my calls yet. People just quit me and drop me cold turkey and sometimes even go to the extreme of blocking me from their social networking sites without ever giving a reason or explanation.
I have no one.
I have nothing.
I've accomplished nothing, I am nothing.
Birthdays just highlight ths fact.
Its funny because usually I can deal weith my independence/loner status pretty well but during the time around my birthday time I just feel this immense loneliness and sadness. It's one of the few times throughout the year that my lack of friendships and lack of achievement hurt me the most. I feel so alone and worthless and, and yeah.